A. och jag satt och jäste efter middagen och var i akut behov av sysselsättning. Då det var något för tidigt för att börja dricka kom idén upp om ännu en ABC-dikt... den här gångenpå ett något mer barnförbjudet tema.

Ni har blivit varnade, och mitt enda försvar är jag under timmarna det tagit att skriva den blivit mer och mer onykter:

Anal sex is really something for him and her both
B for the beads that may be used for above
Cunnilingus comes next, a word fit for prose
Domination then, is the dark side of love

Electric shocks for some makes the blood hotter run
F is for fisting, for leather-men mostly
Group sex well then, come in and join the fun
Handjobs are simple and not really costly

Insertions in holes with all kinds of tools
Jail well you know; take care in the shower
Kamasutra positions; you´ll look like a fool
Lashings and whippings to show who´s in power

Masochism; when you know your proper place
Nails for the drawing of blood with more ease
Obedience; it may be trained in vastly different ways
Pederasty sounds quite nasty but worked well in Greece

Qing Dynasty men bound the feet of their girls
Rimming: for when you are down on all fours
Shot after shot gives a necklace of pearls
Tantric sex a legacy of really ancient lore

Underwear, when used, might actually fit in here
Vacuum pumping certainly is not a thing for me
Wet is pretty popular but also kind of queer
X marks the spot commonly known as "G"

... förlåt.

Drar ner till tåget om en knapp timme, så istället för mitt sedvanliga djup och briljanta intellekt serveras ett klipp från favoritbloggaren OCH favoritkonstären Ursula Vernons senaste post

...och ställ ifrån er morgonkaffet innan ni läser. Att skratta så att heta drycker hamnar i bihålorna gör ont. Trust me on this one :/ 

" It just came to me, like a bolt from the blue.

The ultimate anti-zombie device is not a chainsaw (rather too heavy) or a flamethrower (cool, but indiscriminate) or even a trusty katana (although being the only weapon I am actually vaguely trained to use in any way/have in the house, it's what I'd use) but a maggot-thrower.

If maggots only eat dead flesh, they are the ultimate anti-zombie device. You don't have to worry about innocent living humans getting caught in it--sure, they'd be a little squicked by the sudden rain of maggots from your Mk III High-Power Maggot-Cannon, but they'd recover.

If the maggot-thrower couldn't hold sufficient ammo (we'd need to conduct studies on how many liters of maggots to zombie are required) we could always go back to the old-fashioned method--suspect vats of maggots from the ceiling of the mall, dump them upon the invaders. Again, safe for humans, but death to zombies!

Come to think of it, in many climates with an active fly population, wouldn't they lay eggs in the zombies and eat them all eventually anyway? Ultimately a zombie apocalypse would have to be self-limiting due to all the scavengers--sure, they might fend off vultures and so forth, but the little wee buggers? Nahh. Sure, I'll grant you that in cold climates, you can have your ice zombies, possibly your mummified desert zombies, maybe--at a stretch--your salt-preserved coastal zombies. ("....arrrrrr....braaaaains....") but in most of the world, zombiekind could really only be a temporary plague.

Damnit. "

Läs mer på  http://ursulav.livejournal.com/

Aj.

 Ouch...

Solbränd. Alldeles för solbränd för mitt eget bästa.

Note to self: använd högre solskyddsfaktor du *vet* att du kommer att tappa bort tiden när du tränar sabel-form på stranden, luddskalle.

Nåja, jag har överlevt det innan.

I morgon bär det av upp till Göteborg och suveräna http://www.monochrome.se i akt och syfte att fortsätta korrumpera Azale, äta alldels för mycket glass och spana in lite lammkött på storstadens gator ("You´re so emo, I don´t know wether to laugh or fuck you") så det får bli till att kontra med ett extra lager foundation för att inteförlora de sista gothpoäng jag har, och att dricka nog för att glömma solsvedan...

...något jag nog ska ta o börja med redan nu.  

White russian on the rocks, och det nu.

Over, and out. 

"If we could sniff or swallow something that would, for five or six hours each day, abolish our solitude as individuals, atone us with our fellows in a glowing exaltation of affection and make life in all its aspects seem not only worth living, but divinely beautiful and significant, and if this heavenly, world-transfiguring drug were of such a kind that we could wake up next morning with a clear head and an undamaged constitution - then, it seems to me, all our problems (and not merely the one small problem of discovering a novel pleasure) would be wholly solved and earth would become paradise."

ALDOUS HUXLEY
1894 - 1963

Ok, att hemloxen har sin beskärda del av problem är inget nytt. Kronisk sömnbrist, återkommande depression sannolikt kommen av stereotypt ångestfylld grundskoletid med inte fullt lika vanlig nivå av psykterror och misshandel.

Men trots det...

Trots milsdjupa mentala brunar fyllda med kallt, mörkt vatten 

Trots garderober fyllda med skelett.

Trots ständiga nojjor, mer eller mindre seriösa.

 Trots det kan man ha en alldeles förbannat bra dag med en solstol i halvskuggan under äppelträdet i trädgården, Peter F. Hamiltons nya bok "The Dreaming Void" och en iskall cider.  (ok, tre kalla cider, om nu nu måste veta)

Då, dom timmarna innan värmen och solen blev alltför intensiva...

  ...just precis då, var allting faktiskt alldels perfekt. 

För evigheter sedan blev jag utmanad av A. att skriva en text-dikt-whatever på temat nattmara/sömnförlamning (kolla Wiki, tyar inte förklara) och visserligen har ett antal månader passerat, men här kommer i alla fall en inledning. Tveksamt dock om den alls kommer att skrivas klart:

 *Titel saknas*

She´s here within my room

her weight all over me

the dreadful succubus that

will never set me free

Each night she wakes me up

though I´m still trapped as in a dream

I cannot... move, I cannot... rise

I cannot even scream!

A weight like lead upon

my chest most every night

and my dreams filled with naught

but paralyzing fright!

(ev. to be continued...)

Helgen kom, dränktes i alkohol, fylldes med goda vänner och försvann.

Vad började som en utmärkt fest slutade givetvis med att springa på just den enda person jag *verkligen* inte vill träffa när jag druckit. Dock; blodsutgjutelse undveks (trots uppmuntran från moraliskt ambivalent kamrat) och resten av småtimmarna räddades med cineastisk eskapism.

Ändock... :/

Med ord stulna från död poet;

"When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sank chill on my brow
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Long, long shall I rue thee
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met
In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears."

Har FÖR mycket att göra på jobbet just nu, och vad händer?

Jo, min hjärna drar i nödbomsen och ropar in min uttråkade musa, som sedemera går bärsärkagång med kreativitets-receptorerna (ja, jag vet att dom inte finns på rikrigt...) och börjar producera perverterade versioner av barnboks-rim.

 Inte helt klart ännu, men here goes:

ABC(Death)

 Asphyxiation takes some time, and leaves you kind of blue

Boredom on the other hand leaves not a trace on you

Cyanide it might be quick, but really hard to buy

Decapitation´s pretty much the surest way to die

Electrocution does the trick far over in the States

Gangrene, well…it will do too if treated far too late

Hypothermia´s not all bad, so take a winter bath

Intravenous poisoning likewise a well-trod path

Jumping from a building high will make a mess of you

Kamikaze-flying worked quite well in World War Two

Lethal injections, a massive selection, which puts you in the ground

Maiming, then, makes sure there´s lot´s of you to go around

Necrosis from a spider bite, may kill and does look nasty

Overdose make be you fate, if in love with King Opium, and hasty

Pentothal will put you under, now that is tried and true

Quaaludes to will grant a sleep, from which they can´t wake you

Razorblades, now just remember; cut not across but along

Suicide if not yet plain, the reason for this song

Tripping, falling, down a stair may leave you pretty broken

U

Venomous scorpions, spiders and snakes do lot´s of people in

Weapons; use them on yourself cause all else is a sin

X

Yellow fever

Z